SEXY AT 16 — GROWING UP too FAST & MODESTY IN YOUR 20’S
i am a context person.
In order to entertain with a good story, I believe one must start with context. So we’ll start with where the over-sexualization of young girls begins, and then we’ll talk clothing and fashion.
We’ve all seen the memes.
And in case you haven’t, don’t worry, I’ll provide one for you:
Uhoh.
Sephora kids are running rampant. High schoolers look like they’re 30. Forgive me for my rather boomer thought process here: What ever happened to climbing a damn tree? Cops and Robbers? Ghost in the Graveyard? Am I alone in thinking that the next generation has stepped into a time machine in their tweens and are coming out looking 10 years older than they actually are? What’s the reason? I’ll tell you.
GEN z was the last generation without cellular devices in early childhood.
That’s right. It can all be attributed to social media. And I can speak from personal experience.
My senior year of high school, I babysat for 2 girls (one in middle school, one in elementary). When they complained of boredom, I offered to do art projects with them. That was a no. I asked if they’d like to go outside and play. That was a no. I finally asked if they wanted to play Barbies. That was… yep, still a no.
“Can we make TikToks?”
My first thought was, oh no. Then, hey… I used to make Video Stars with my friends when I was young. Maybe this is equivalent to that for them. Regrettably, I allowed it.
Big mistake.
Immediately, the little one pulled out her iPhone 14 Pro, (a better phone than mine. WTF?) laid it against her Stanley, (yup!) and set the song she wanted to TikTok to — none other than “WAP”, by Cardi B and Megan.
Here’s the thing.
I love my women in the rap industry. I thoroughly enjoyed the song “WAP” when it came out. You know when I enjoyed it? Not at 12 years old. That’s for sure. I was disturbed. I told her this was not an appropriate choice, and that we should pick something else. She ignored me and proceeded to wall twerk. I had a panic attack later that day. ‘Nuf said.
in addition to the wall twerking:
Before the disaster TikTok-ing hit, the girls wanted to show me their rooms and closets. (I had told them I wanted to do something in fashion when I “grew up.” This was their response.) I peered inside to see dozens and dozens of tiny cropped tops and little booty shorts. I couldn’t help but think back to my own memories at that age, wondering what my mother’s response would be to me walking downstairs at 12-years-old in a cropped top and booty shorts. Then I remembered I didn’t have to wonder. She’d slap me upside the head, walk my ass back upstairs, and tell me to change. And I am thankful for that.
Before I move on to phase two of this yap session, I want to first provide a disclaimer:
Wear what you want, always.
This is only one woman’s take and experience with comfortability in her early 20’s.
It’s not that I, too, didn’t want to grow up too fast. I remember being 16. (The age at which my mom finally gave up on trying to tell me that what I was wearing was inappropriate because I was not going to change unless she drugged me, dragged my body up the stairs and put me in something else, which I’m sure she wanted to do many a time.) I remember going to parties and bars with a fake ID, wearing outfits that actually made me look like I was walking the streets because I thought that it made me a feminist. That was my defense: I am a woman, hear me roar, I can wear whatever I want.
This is a great mentality to have when you are actually a woman and not a 16-year-old girl. In fact, it is a wonderful mentality to have when you are someone of a good-decision-making-skills-age. AKA, not me at this time. Looking back, I wish I would’ve just worn what I felt most comfortable in instead of trying to impress those around me by looking “mature” (I didn’t look mature, I looked like Julia Roberts’ friend in Pretty Woman except I was fetus-sized).
Admittedly,
Even in my underclassmen years of college, I was still in this phase of wanting to impress others and look sexy for boys. It wasn’t until I was 20 years old and crying to my therapist about being objectified by men, especially at the bars, when she said to me, “Change your mentality. You don’t need to be perceived any certain way by men or anyone else when you go out. Just have fun with your girlfriends.” Normally, when someone says the words, “change your mentality,” I want to sock them in the throat. But for some reason, this time, I actually couldn’t find a reason to argue with her. And from then on, that’s what I did. The only people I needed to focus on were myself and my friends. Suddenly, it did not matter who I got attention from. This, my friends, was my frontal lobe developing. And it felt good.
If you relate to this even a little bit, and you’re looking for options to swap out your unbelievably tiny tops for something more mature, I’ve got you covered. Literally.
you can still be sexy without showing it all. seriously. I swear.
I like to think of myself as a confident woman. I have curves and I like to show them off, because I’ll never be this young and hot again. Life is short. The difference between myself then and myself now is, now, I do it for me.
Going-out outfits: 3 different combos
That will do the trick every time and leave you feeling confident, sexy and mature.
the tight top and baggy bottoms
For me personally, I will choose this combo every time. A tight fitting long sleeve will show off my chest without showing too much skin for my taste, especially when I’m feeling like I want to be more classy and covered up. The baggy bottoms add that feeling of comfort. There’s something about dressing like a man a little that just boosts my ego wayyy too high. I feel like I’m on top of the world with a baggy pant and a pointed-toe heel.
a huggy SILHOUETTE is going out etiquette
Rock that body-con pant and top look while still feeling comfortable in your skin that isn’t being 100% exposed. I love this look and use it myself. Danger Will Robinson: you might walk into the bar and catch on fire because you look so hot. (And classy.)
put the a$$ in class
As long as it’s not hanging out, I’m so there. I love wearing a mini short that covers your backside and a knee-high boot to add some coverage. Layer with jewelry and you’re looking chic and unique. Ooh. That rhymed.
so there you have it.
Remember: wear what you want, when you want, but do it for you and no one else.
